Parent's Notes
Parents play an important part in their children's volunteer activities. Some questions to ask yourself about events your children are involved in...
- Does the activity meet a real need in the community? Is another coat drive necessary when three schools are already collecting coats?
- What are the kids getting out of it? There should be learning goals for the children and they need to be involved in identifying these goals.
- Are young people given adequate training and an introduction to the work? If children are helping with a literacy program, for example, they should be taught tutoring skills, and they should be introduced to literacy as a wider issue.
- Is the activity well-planned? Along with work that is meaningful and adequately supervised, consideration should be given to liability issues, transportation, and back-up plans that may be needed if, for example, an outdoor activity is rained out.
- Are there opportunities for reflection? To get the most out of community service, kids need a chance to explore their reactions and express what they've learned.
- Is feedback requested afterward? Asking for feedback helps create improvements.
- Do kids have a chance to celebrate their efforts? This will help keep them coming back.
Six Ways to Get Going on (Guilt-Free!) Giving:
- Get honest. Okay, so your kids have never seen the inside of a homeless shelter, nor donated a single item for a charity toy drive. Talk about it! "You know, we really haven't made this a priority as a family, and that was a mistake, so now we're going to." Done. Now move on...
- Remember the 2 Gs: gratitude and giving. "You can't have one without the other," says Kendrick. "They go hand in hand." Giving kids a chance to help others is how they learn to appreciate what they have (and children who appreciate what they have are not only happier people, they are less likely to whine and moan for every last item they see in the mall!)
- Giving doesn't begin and end with charity work. Kendrick remembers his grandmother making cookies for the neighbors, which he would then distribute. Jo Ann H. (profiled above) helps her children keep a bird feeder filled throughout the winter. These small acts of kindness are forms of giving that send the same message to children as a trip to a soup kitchen ("Our family cares about others.")
- Let kids decide how to give. You may think that helping the homeless or contributing to the fight against cancer are the most important ways to make a difference. Your five-year-old may want to donate more money to the zoo so that the lions will have a bigger supper. The type of giving matters less than the opportunity to empower kids, to let them "own" the act of giving.
- Be concrete. Dropping coins into a collection box can indeed make a difference, but most young children, rooted in concrete thinking, can't understand where the money goes beyond the pail. "Take as many steps into the act of giving as you can," advises Kendrick. In other words, although it's easier for you to write a check, it's easier for kids to "see" what they're doing when they buy items to donate with you, then deliver them to a food bank, and put them directly on the shelves.
- Give non-material gifts. Making donations is a wonderful way to give, but children can make a valuable contribution just by spending time talking with an elderly neighbor. Make sure they understand the value of "gifts of time" by asking questions like, "Which do you think meant more, the groceries we delivered today or the nice time we had talking with the woman who needed the food?" As Kendrick sees it, those follow-up chats are an "emotional bookmark." By marking the moment and talking about it with kids, he says, "you're engraving family currency. Your kid's picture is on the currency. And you're giving them a chance to spend it, to give themselves away."